SAC

So a strike of genius hit me. With the kick off of college football underway and the prospects of GA State football so exciting, and me finding myself reading the boxscores of every game of every school I've never heard of, I thought, why not create a new conference?

My proposal...the SAC (South Atlantic Conference). And fuck you Kennesaw State, you aren't invited. This will be a big conference -- 12 teams, mostly up and coming, all in the Southeast. Two Divisions that I haven't quite worked out yet. But eventually the SAC would give the Big East a run for their money, especially given all of the big name games some of these teams have already scheduled unlike some of you other pussy conferences.

People will say "Oh yeah, the Southeast is the best football...you have the SEC,ACC,SAC." And I name Joe Tereshiski IV commisioner. So without further adieu...12 teams:
1. The REAL GSU
2. Georgia Southern
3. Appalachian State
4. Troy University
5. Florida International
6. University of Central Florida
7. University of Lousiana Monroe
8. Western Carolina
9. Western Kentucky
10. Southern Mississippi
11. University of Alabama Birmingham

Twelve is a toss up between FLA Atlantic, UL Lafyette, College of Charlston, or maybe we could pull Miss State from the SEC. Midgrade football at it's finest! Beats the hell out of Pittsburgh, Buffalo, and Syracuse...

Fuck You Tony Kornheiser

How dare you be so arrogant to question Petrino, McKay, and Blank's initiative to have Falcon's players not talk about Michael Vick. I don't care if you are a sports writer and it is frustrating to you. The story is over. The man admitted his guilt and there is nothing more to talk about until his sentencing comes down. Let these men play football.

It is not the most important story on the Falcons right now. Hell, most of us (at least the sensible ones) have accepted the fact that the Number 7 era is over. I realized that when the Air Tran billboard came down from I-75 coming into town from the Southside. He is not the elephant in the room, because frankly he is only a member of the team through technicalities at this point.

I commend Joey Harrington for being so resilient through all of this and I swear I hope he pulls a Kenny Rogers on the first person that asks him how it feels to come in here as Ookie's replacement.

Tony Kornhole, get over yourself. You are trying to beat blood from a turnip or however the hell the saying goes.

I am Proud of Atlanta tonight.

The special lady and I went to the Braves vs. Giants game tonight and some after the fact record breaking happened. Barry Bonds hit #759 and promptly got booed. Bobby Cox recieved ejection #133, his second in as many, nights and Ryan Klesko freaked the fuck out. He also was ejected and Barry had to pull him off the field, most likely a result of 'roid rage.

But the most important thing, Atlanta won. And damn if we didn't boo when we were supposed to, cheer when we were supposed to. The Barry supporters were a-plenty, and I'd like to think of myself as somewhat of an agnostic regarding the situation, but I still just don't like the guy. Why the fuck do you have to leave the field when a relief pitcher is called in? This is not New York. Atlanta has class. We aren't going to throw stuff at you, just say some things that might hurt your feelings.

Either way this team has late season run written all over them. And dammit, after sitting in left field, I am on the Willie Harris bandwagon. If he could just quit getting thrown out trying to steal.

Way too early prediction: Willie Harris = World Series MVP.

Fantasy Draft Results...

...because everyone is so excited. I picked 11th of a 12 team league and it went something like this:

1. Brian Westbrook
2. Carson Palmer
3. Chicago
4. Andre Johnson
5. Chris Chambers
6. Tony Gonzales
7. Mark Clayton
8. Jerious Norwood
9. Neil Rackers
10.Heath Miller
11.Matt Schaub
12.Tatum Bell
13.Drew Carter
14.Seattle
15.Leon Washington

I'd like to call a redo on a lot of those.

In a related story...

Larry has decided that he is no longer speaking to New York media after taking his quotes regarding the steroid era out of context.

Good for you Chipper. Good for you. But riddle me this, you once got duped by a Hooter's waitress from Florida, what did you expect the New York Media to do? They fuck you and then tell their friends.

I'm glad you're taking the high road on this one Chip. You saw what happened to John Rocker...

The Bada Bing

So me and my special lady went out to a certain sports bar, here to refered to as CSB, to eat dinner. I figured we would watch the Falcons game and catch the end of the Bravos game and we would enjoy some good food and good beer, you know, like one would expect from fine establishments like Taco Mac. Now this place got very high nods from a certain radio station, here to referred to as CRS.

The place has not been open very long, but frankly warm beer, false promises, and microwave food do not impress. It was like the bowling alley without the bowling. There were quite a few high definition TV's in the joint, the only problem was that they were 19" and playing the fucking Bills game. I believe there were two waitresses working at CSB and both were quite endowed, but please don't sit down and give me the single mom story.

Not to mention that this is apparently the Atlanta home of the New York Yankees. Corona's were on special, but given the neighborhood, I'm not surprised. And two fucking beers on draft!!! Fuck CSB and fuck CRS for mentioning it. There better be a lot of cocaine going through that place or it is going down.

It was like Mr. C's only bigger.

If I hear or read one more time that it could be Miller time in Boston...

...I'm going to throw up. Boston is a Sam Adams town, but regardless, reports are that Reggie Miller is contemplating joining the Celtics in a reserve role. Well good! They just traded away their entire bench for Kevin Garnett!!

It has been a while since we've seen a team sign an old veteran in hopes of attaining that ring that they never could get. Not since the days of The Miami Heat, Los Angeles Lakers, and Dallas Mavericks, oh wait...The point is, free agents have a little too much power in the NBA. Play your rookie contract, sign maybe one or two long term deals, and then sign with a contender for a novelty role on the squad.

I guess you can't really hate the player or the game. It is just the nature of the beast. Hell, Kevin Willis finally got a ring last year at the ripe age of 752 after signing a deal with San Antonio as the season was drawing to an end.

Now maybe all these seasoned vets that have not really enjoyed too much success in the playoffs can finally bring a ring to Beantown and bring their careers to an end on a high note. That's if, Glen Davis doesn't eat them first...

Bonds Breaks the Hank

Finally, it is over. 756 has been hit and we do not ever have to hear about Barry Bonds again. As much controversy surrounds Bonds and his career, you have to respect the most coveted record in professional sports. Congratulations to him and congratulations to Hank Aaron for being such a class act and delivering the video speech. All around a classy event. Part of me is glad that it happened in San Francisco and good for the lefty from Washington for tipping his hat.

A little bit of enocouragement...

Get your check books out folks -- Dan Reeves and Georgia State are ready for football.

Maybe TNA does not have a personal conduct policy...

Pacman Jones has decided to enter the wrestling ring after being suspended for the entire NFL season by Darth Godell. I've heard stories that this guy and his friends are crazy as hell, but I've also heard that he was a stand up guy in high school. 4.0 GPA and wanted to go back to VA Tech to finish his degree.

More power to you Pacman, but I can't help but conjure up images of broken arms on a trampoline in somebody's back yard in Tennessee. Vince Young is on the cover of Madden '08 and you're wrestling. The funniest part? When you click on the details of of Adam Jones' signing to the organization, this (well it was an advertisement for Kotex) pops up.

Talk about adding insult to injury...

Kyle Davie's first start of his first inning on a new team and this happens. I know the groin injury was tough, but damn I feel for you man. Gil Meche is no John Smoltz, but I sure hope he has some good advice, because I want to see you succeed.

NFL '07 Preview :: Linebackers

The big dudes in the middle.



10. Green Bay Packers -- A.J. Hawk is a friggin' stud and these guys will be higher in years to come. Kind of weak on the right side and there is a real lack of depth, but Nick Barnett was good for 105 tackles last year. But seriously, A.J. Hawk is a stud and he will be in Brady Quinn's nightmares in more ways than one.

9. Atlanta Falcons -- Does the loss of Ed Hartwell's overpaid and under producing ass hurt? Not really. Keith Brooking moves back to his natural position in the middle. Young guys Demorrio Williams and Michael Boley turned some heads early in the season last year. The signing of Orlando Huff is no roster filling move, he will come in and make some plays. I'm expecting big things out of the meathead from GA Tech this year.

8. Tampa Bay Buccaneers -- There are some age concerns here, but Cato June and Derrick Brooks are still very dependable on the outside. You'd like to see more sacks out of this unit, but some nice depth with guys like Patrick Chukwurah, Jamie Winborn, and Ryan Nece.

7. Dallas Cowboys -- A fairly young linebacker unit that is only going to get better, especially DeMarcus Ware. Akin Ayodele is no slouch and Greg Ellis is the solid seasoned vet on the end. Close to 20 sacks last year between everybody.

6. Baltimore Ravens -- Ray Lewis is still Ray Lewis and the anchor of this very strong core. A little bit more strength on the right side next to Lewis could not hurt, but the 20 + sacks on the left side between Bart Scott, Terrell Suggs and backups are pretty intimidating to any quarterback.

5. Philadelphia Eagles -- Maybe a little overrated here, because they really had some trouble stopping the run last year, but if Jeremiah Trotter and Takeo Spikes can stay healthy and return to their old form, Philly's defense is going to look pretty intimidating next year.

4. Miami Dolphins -- Joey Porter, Zach Thomas, Channing Crowder, and Jason Taylor from left to right. About 21 sacks and close to 300 tackles between the four of them. Some age concerns here, but still very dependable and the anchor of a less than spectacular overall defense.

3. New England Patriots -- Again, pretty old, but probably the deepest linebacker unit in the NFL. Tedy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, and the addition of Adalius Thomas round out a very strong core. Some old fart named Junior Seau is a back up on the inside. This is unit is the perfect example of how the 3-4 can be effective.

2. Chicago Bears -- This guy makes me and about every quarterback in the NFL want to shit their pants. Now that his locker room buddy Lance Briggs is off his high horse and securely a Bear, you have the same scary unit as last year. The stats are not really all that impressive, because the defensive line is so dominant, but these guys are good.

1. San Diego Chargers -- How did these guys not make it to the Super Bowl last year? Shawne Merriman and Shaun Phillips are probably the best two outside linebackers in the NFL combining for nearly 30 sacks last year. Merriman is only going to get better and more dominant.

Just missed the cut -- NY Giants, New Orleans Saints, Seattle Seahawks

Are we witnessing luck or genius?

johndamnweaver2: chipper is playing short, willie harris third, we're out of position players and pitchers, villareal just got a hit, top of the 14th.

i swear to god if chris burke hits a homerun i am cutting somebody.

NFL '07 Preview :: Running Backs

This has definitely been the hardest one so far. With the fantasy impact and so many teams relying on 1-2 backs here goes nothing. I'm sure there will be some disagreements here, but this is my list and not yours. Without further adieu, the top 10 backs, running and full.



10. Cincinnati Bengals -- There is some real depth at running back on the Bengals and kudos to them for not getting arrested. Rudi Johnson is obviously the man and should stay that way, but Kenny Watson and rookie Kenny Irons out of Auburn provide some very solid depth here. Jeremi Johnson is one of the leagues more versatile fullbacks doing a little bit of everything. Most of these guys would be higher on the list if not for the Bengal's QB's & WR's.

9. Atlanta Falcons -- Oh how much higher would these guys be if Vick was playing this year? Probably number 2. The Falcons have lead the league in rushing the past couple of years with the Vick-Dunn combo. Now we're looking at an aging and ever more injury prone Warrwick Dunn and the promise of second year guy Jerious Norwood from Mississippi State. Petrino likes his backs big and strong, so look for Norwood to get a lot more touches this year. It would not surprise me at all if he becomes 'the guy' by season's end. The loss of Justin Griffith hurts but the Falcons added blocking specialist Ovie Mughelli to the biggest contract ever signed by a fullback.

8. Seattle Seahawks -- Shaun Alexander is playing his first full season after suffering the wrath of the Madden Curse, but he is still Shaun Alexander. Still ranked 4th in most fantasy projections, which might be a little low in my opinion, but Seattle gets 8th on this list? Maurice Morris filled in pretty nice last season while Alexander was gone and Mack Strong is just that -- strong, a pro-bowler, and has more rushing yards than most fullbacks in the league.

7. Minnesota Vikings -- Are you kidding me? No I am not. Chester Taylor was 9th in the league in rushing last season and Minny just drafted some guy named Adrian Peterson from Oklahoma. Tony Richardson is one of the better fullbacks in the league and Tavaris Jackson can pick up a couple of yards with his feet when he needs to, and it is not because he is black. Next year you will ask yourself, who are the best 1-2 backs in the league and Taylor-Peterson will be one of the first that pops in your head.

6. San Francisco 49ers -- I am on the Frank Gore bandwagon, sign me up, give me a T-Shirt, I will pay my membership dues and wear the button. This guy is a bad ass and I'm going to go ahead and say it, an outside shot to win MVP this year. Kind of sucks that he broke his hand and will probably miss the entire pre-season, because that just might make me look like a dumbass like last year when I drafted Clinton Portis with my first pick. But still, with a beefed up O-Line and a little bit of depth there, I really really like these guys. Gore in '08!

5. Kansas City Chiefs -- Larry Johnson is good. Fine whatever. 17 touchdowns and 1789 yards were enough to make anybody that had Grandmama on their team wet themselves, but that is still only a little more than a touchdown per game and one touchdown per every 105.24 yards. Yes he might be the second best back in the league, but this is my list and not yours. Remember that.

4. Jacksonville Jaguars -- Fred Taylor and Maurice Jones-Drew rushed for more yards than Larry Johnson last season and they'll probably do it again next year. David Garrard had an okay year with his feet too, no thanks to Byron Leftwich. Greg Jones is prety good at full back too, but this Fred Taylor, Maurice Jones-Drew thing is the epitome of the 1-2 punch.

3. St. Louis Rams -- How do these guys keep getting so high up on these lists? They have a pretty potent offense, no thanks to Marc Bulger and this is where it stops. There are a couple of guys behind Him in Travis Minor and Stephen Harris that deserve a shout out. Stephen Jackson is a bad ass and will be a bad ass next year. He is awesome in Madden, awesome on Sundays, and awesome on your fantasy team. The end, enjoy your 8-8 record.

2. New Orleans Saints -- The feel good pick of the year. Deuce and Reggie and Reggie and Deuce, pretty electrifying. Mike Karney is one of the leagues best fullbacks and although I am programmed to hate The Saints and their scripted Monday night returns to the Katrina Dome, you just have to be excited to be able to watch Reggie Friggin' Bush gradually take over the reigns from Deuce Friggin' McAllister.

1. San Diego Chargers -- Do I really need to say anything here? When you have the best running back, the best fullback and arguably the best backup running back (notice I did not say 1-2 punch or combo back) there is really no argument. I've already said too much...

Just missed the cut -- Pittsburgh, Dallas, Denver

So long and farewell Kyle...

...it has been fun (well up until a point) watching you pitch for the Braves and telling everybody "Hey I went to high school with that guy and beat him in a debate in Government class senior year." I still remember your first game in the bigs -- Fenway Park in the rain against a damn good Red Sox team. I remember your first game in Atlanta against the Mets and it seemed like half of Henry County was there.



Have fun in the American League cellar. You will truly be missed and it is a damn shame things did not work out here, especially now that it looks like we're headed to the World Series. Here's hoping you can return to Atlanta someday...

NFL '07 Preview :: Secondary

This installment of the NFL '07 preview looks at defensive backs. The sometimes flashy, sometimes hard hitting, sometimes shit talking guys that shut assholes like T.O., Ocho Cinco, and Steve Smith up.



10. Atlanta Falcons -- There are obvious holes in this units secondary, but I am a homer and I had to find a way for them to get on the list. Despite a disappointing season last year, DeAngelo Hall is still one of the best corners in the league. Let the him play some man coverage and he will be the D. Hall from the previous year. Lawyer Miloy, despite his age is not only a great locker room presence, but still one of the best safeties in the league. There are some obvious holes, but the move of Jimmy Williams to Free Safety and presence of rookies Chris Houston and David Irons are hopefully enough to plug those holes.

9. Chicago Bears -- These guys really do not have to do that much because everybody in front of them is so good, but they still deserve some credit. Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman are two very underrated corners posting 8 interceptions and almost 100 tackles between them. I heard that Devin Hester kid is going to play some wide receiver this year.

8. New England Patriots -- Asante Samuel is a damn good corner and last year's 10 interceptions are enough to justify the money that New England hesitantly forked over to retain him. Rodney Harrison is getting old, but still has as much hardware as Tom Brady. There is some depth at that left corner between Eugene Wilson and Chad Scott. Oh yeah, they drafted some kid from Miami name Merriweather that really knows how to use his helmet

7. Arizona Cardinals -- You don't really associate Arizona with good defense, but this secondary put together a lot of tackles last year between safeties Adrian Wilson, Robert Griffith, and cornerback Anrel Rolle. Maybe that's because the offense seems to get past everybody else. Expect these guys to put up big numbers again this year under new coach Whisenhunt, especially Adrian Wilson.

6. San Francisco 49ers -- I did not want to put these guys this high because they signed Nate Clements, but Clements can shut down one half of the field. Opposite of him is Walt Harris who recorded 8 interceptions last year. Shawntae Spencer adds some depth at corner. The addition of Michael Lewis at safety is also a huge asset as these guys might be runner up for Most Improved Secondary.

5. Dallas Cowboys -- Safety Roy Williams is pretty damn good and probably hasn't reached his full potential yet. Though you would like to see more interceptions from corners Terrence Newman and Anthony Henry, they posted about 150 tackles between the two of them. The addition of Ken Hamlin and his 96 tackles last year definitely does not hurt.

4. Jacksonville -- Rashean Mathis is a certifiable bad ass and maybe the best corner in the game not named Champ. There is a lot of depth behind Mathis with guys like Brian Williams and Scott Starks. Their safeties could be upgraded, but they did draft Reggie Nelson out of Florida who will be able to come in and play right away.

3. Baltimore -- There are some age concerns at corner with Chris McAllister and Samari Rolle, but there are only a few better 1-2 punches in the league. Ed Reed is probably the best safety in the league and right next to him is Dawan Landry from GA Tech. Over 20 interceptions last year between the entire unit.

2. Philadelphia -- The loss of Michael Lewis hurts their depth at safety but Brian Dawkins and Sean Considine recorded over 175 tackles last year. Probowl cornerback Lito Shepard and Sheldon Brown round out this thin, but very talented unit.

1. Denver -- Champ Bailey and Dre' Bly. I don't even care who plays safety (John Lynch and Nate Ferguson = 100 + tackles).

Mark Teixeira could be a Bravo in 24 hours...

It looks like this could happen before Tuesday's 4 PM trade deadline. It would basically look like this: Salty, Elvis, Andrus, a pitching prospect, for Teixeira (pronounced Tah-share-uh), and one of their relief pitchers not named Gagne.

I say pull the trigger yesterday. Not only does this solidify first base with a gold glove winner and former GA Tech standout, but it would give us possibly the most scary 2-7 in baseball. Renteria-Chipper-Teixeira-Andruw-McCann-Frenchy. A guy that has finished the last few seasons with over 35 homers every year just might be what we need to push us over the edge and end this slump.

Still don't know if we can catch the Mets, but the wildcard is right in sight. Oh yeah, adding a lefty in the overworked bullpen couldn't hurt.

Word on the street is that we are looking to add another starter like Dotel or Garland too.

This W & M Pussy is going to get his ass kicked...

So I heard (link when i find it) that the Falcons signed some douchebag from William and Mary to complete the training camp roster as the fourth quarterback. Not only is this the guy that is essentially taking Michael Vick's place, but he is a rival of my GSU Panthers in the CAA conference.

Why don't you just piss in my face Arthur Blank? Lowe's is cheaper anyways.

NFL '07 Preview :: Recievers

This first segment looks at which team has the best tandem of Wide Receivers and Tight Ends (and if that doesn't sound homo-erotic to the non-football fan, then I don't know what does). So, in ascending order:



10. Carolina Panthers -- It really really pains me that they made this list, but Steve Smith is just too good. If not the best receiver in the league when healthy, then definitely top 5. The loss of Keyshawn's Old Ass hurts, but 6' 5" former Trojan Dwayne Jarrett looks to fill those shoes. Drew Carter could also step in to fill the 2 slot.

9. Cleveland Browns -- I wish these guys were higher and I tried everything I could to put them on there, but all the rationalizing and reasoning and bargaining just couldn't make it happen. Joe Jurevicius is no spring chicken, but still very capable of getting some first downs. Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow could look like absolute studs and possibly set the record for most touchdowns by dudes with last names for first names if Brady Quinn pans out like he Romeo Crennel hopes.

8. Detroit Lions -- Ahh....If Billy Knight drafted a football team it would look like this. "I don't know if he can play or not. He's fast and can catch the ball, I do know that. That's why we drafted him." Probably the most potential and depth of any receiving core in the league (yet another Hawks similarity). When Calvin Johnson is slated to be your number 2 receiver and Mike Furry your number 3, things are looking pretty good. A lot of people are saying Roy Williams is ready to have a breakout year...

7. New York Giants -- A lot of overrated, inconsistent hype here in Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey, but the bottom line is they get things done and The Giants win football games. Amani Toomer can be a good third option here if healthy.

6. New England Patriots -- Randy Moss and Donte Stallworth give J.C. Brady some pretty big names to throw to, but it doesn't really matter who it is. Even if we are talking about a hall of famer towards the end of his career, there are 5 guys behind them that Mr. Fertility himself will turn into household names. Oh yeah, Ben Watson is pretty good too...Go Dawgs!

5. Arizona Cardinals -- Here is another team I wanted to rank higher. Larry Fitzgerald is one of the NFL's elite wide outs. He is the complete package and only 24. Behind him, one Mr. Anquan Boldin, a primary receiver on most any other team. Bryant Johnson isn't a bad third option either, but dammit Leonard Pope, this is your year to shine! I loved the guy at UGA, but it has not translated to the next level quite yet. Still my second TE on most every Madden fantasy team I've drafted this year...

4. Dallas Cowboys -- He's a headcase, but T.O. is still just a talented mofo. A little more together than Ron Artest and he puts up the numbers. More dropped passes than one would like, but still good for 12 touchdowns last season. Terry Glenn isn't too shabby either and early last season was the go to guy for the Romosexuals. Jason Witten and is a stud and the Dallas backs that like to catch the ball just add fuel to the fire.

3. Cincinnati Bengals -- Ocho Cinco and T.J. Houshmaensaltalamachiazendada are a pretty scary threat for any secondary and that means you Jim Mora on week 3 @ 4:05 PM EST. They're coming for you and they're coming for you hard Nancy Boy. You can run to the U.W. campus and be a Huskie and play grab ass and give all the high fives you want, but right around the corner lurking, will be Chris Henry. Take that motherfuckers.

2. Indianapolis Colts -- Marvin Harrison is a hall of famer and Reggie Wayne isn't too bad himself -- the 90's Braves starting pitching of wide receivers. Throw in the rookie from Ohio State Anthony Gonzalez and Tight End Dallas Clark and you just have more people for Peyton Manning to throw to. They are your 2007 Superbowl champions for a reason.

1. St. Louis Rams -- Torry Holt, Issac Bruce, Drew Bennett, Randy McMichael, Joe Klopfenstein, and Steven Jackson are pretty much all that Marc F'ing Bulger is limited to. This team has depth like no other. When Issac Bruce will probably be the third option by the end of the year and a very serviceable TE in Joe Klopfenstein is the back up tight end, you're pretty good. Oh yeah, Steven Jackson caught for just over 800 yards and 2 touchdowns last year. This is a case of the receiving core making the QB better and not vice-versa.

Just missed the cut: Pittsburgh, Washington, San Francisco.

NFL '07 Preview :: Introduction

I have decided to post a small series of entries previewing this years upcoming season, only I am not going to rank individual teams, or compile a power rankings, or give predictions of who I think will be in the Super Bowl (yet).

This series will rank the top 10 teams in the league according to a couple of key units: recievers, running backs, offensive line, quarterbacks, secondary, linebackers, defensive line, and special teams. The key criteria for each being: talent, depth, production, age/injury concerns...

Most likely hours, blood, sweat, tears, my girlfriend getting annoyed with me very quickly will go into this project, but hopefully I will learn something.

First up...wide recievers.

Fun with Mad Libs -- A Visit to the Zoo

Zoos are places where wild fun bags (PLURAL NOUN) are kept in pens or cages so that crackwhores (PLURAL NOUN) can come and look at them. There are two zoos in New York, one in the Bronx and one in Assly (ADJECTIVE) Park. The Park zoo is built around a large pond filled with clear sparkling man sauce (TYPE OF LIQUID). You will see several beavers (ANIMAL PLURAL) swimming in the pond and eating fish. When it is feeding time, all of the animals make girly (ADJECTIVE) noises. The elephant goes fart (FUNNY NOISE) and the turtledoves go plop (ANOTHER FUNNY NOISE). In one part of the zoo, there are horny (ADJECTIVE) gorillas who love to eat testicles (PLURAL NOUN). In another building, there is a spotted African Ballsack Dragon (ANIMAL) that is so fast it can out run a crab (ANOTHER ANIMAL). But my favorite animal is the hippopotamus. It has a huge taint (PART OF THE BODY) and eats fifty pounds of star anuses (PLURAL NOUN) a day. You would never know that, technically, it's nothing but an oversized wet (ADJECTIVE) pig.

Ron Mexico Pleads Not Guilty

So our fearless leader has decided to fight it?

With Billy Martin by his side, Vick entered a not guilty plea in court today, despite a convincing 19 Page Indictment and a federal prosecution that has a conviction rate much higher than his completion percentage.

#7 wants to "clear his good name", but I'm not it is possible after PETA protests, getting dropped by nearly all of his sponsors, and the recent suspension handed down by Vicktator Goddell. It seems possible, but I don't care to see the man in a Falcon's uniform anytime soon. His trial date is not set until after we play the Colts on Thanksgiving Day. Should we expect to see him on the field? Not if King Arthur has anything to do with it...

In the words of the ever so eloquent Hometeam Brandon Leak, "this is what happens when you trade away a perfectly good quarterback like Matt Schaub."

Are we really talking about Joey F'ing Harrington?

I mean come on. Joey Harrington is going to be our starter? Joey Harrington? We're talking about Joey Harrington. Hey Petrino, did Tawana tell you that?

Same guy that lost his job in Detroit to Jon Kitna and eventually got injured in Miami to lead way for Cleo Fucking Lemon. This guy is going to take snaps for the Falcons? It could be worse, at one point our primary backup was Chris Redman and we all know how well Redmans have done this year in Atlanta.

Everybody should admit that Vick did not really have the confidence to run an NFL team last year, no thanks to Nancy Boy Mora, but damn. Joey F'ing Harrington?

...and I know all the UGA faithfuls are clamoring for DJ Shockley, but the guy just is not ready to be an NFL quarterback. So get ready for it, half empty GA Dome and not a Harrington jersey insight. Thank you fair-weathered Atlanta fans and Joey F'ing Harrington.

The Obligotary Introductory All About Me and The Reason Myspace Sucks Introductory Entry

I Like: Atlanta Sports (especially the Hawks and GA State Panthers), The Mr. T Experience, Synthesizers with the things that look like pitch benders but aren't really pitch benders, i think they are called modulation benders on the side, Beer, My Girlfriend, Thursday, Sports Talk Radio, Fender Telecasters, Madden, Centennial Olympic Park.

I Don't Like: Barry Bonds, New York Mets, Tuesdays, Myspace, Chewing Gum, Pepsi, Kobe Bryant, Douchebags, the water in Brunswick, GA, Staind.